riyal:

let’s just watch movies in just our underwear and kiss a lot

View text
  • 1 day ago
  • 184310

moshingice:

you ever wanna fuck the living shit outta somebody but also cook for them and make sure they’re emotionally stable?

View text
  • 1 day ago
  • 385492
View photo
  • 1 day ago
  • 228633
View photo
  • 1 day ago
  • 54594
View photo
  • 1 day ago
  • 60922

canadianslut:

*listens to an acoustic performance*

ohhh so that’s what they’re saying

View text
  • 2 days ago
  • 374503
View photo
  • 2 days ago
  • 32087

moltengolden:

keylimepie:

horse-ebook:

donbroccoli:

Is the alphabet called the alphabet because the first two letters in the Greek alphabet are alpha and beta?

fuck

Are there literally 75,000 people who did not realize this?

Get the fuck off your high horse yes clearly that many people didn’t know that about the fucking Greek alphabet sit down and shut the fuck up

View text
  • 2 days ago
  • 508133

brave-fart:

brave-fart:

brave-fart:

brave-fart:

brave-fart:

brave-fart:

brave-fart:

brave-fart:

did you hear about the italian chef who died?

he pasta way

he just ran out of thyme

here today, gone tomato

his wife is still upset, cheese still not over it

we never sausage a tragedy coming

ashes to ashes, crust to crust

there’s just not mushroom for italian chefs in today’s world

View text
  • 2 days ago
  • 191513

hoganddice:

takethethirdoption:

I went to an Arab-American comedy night and there was a Muslim guy making a joke about being in high school football.

"I was hit so hard, I saw Jesus. Do you know how hard you have to be hit to see somebody else’s god?"

This is what jokes about religion are supposed to look like.

View text
  • 2 days ago
  • 219009
x